Vision Unlimited

Leaders in BPO Recruitment

Technical Support Humor

by on Dec 1st, 2011 in Humor (107 Comments)

1). Tech Support: “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.”
Customer “Ok.”
Tech Support: “Did you get a pop-up menu?”
Customer: “No.”
Tech Support: “Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?”
Customer “No.”
Tech Support: “Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?”
Customer: “Sure, you told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote ‘click’.”

2) Customer: “I received the software update you sent, but I am still  getting the same error message.”
Tech Support: “Did you install the update?”
Customer: “No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?”

3).Customer: “I’m having trouble installing Microsoft Word.”
Tech Support: “Tell me what you’ve done.”
Customer: “I typed ‘A:SETUP’.”!
Tech Support: “Ma’am, remove the disk and tell me what it says.”
Customer: “It says ‘[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk’.”
Tech Support: “Insert the MS Word setup disk.”
Customer: “What?”
Tech Support: “Did you buy MS word?”
Customer: “No…”

4).Customer: “Do I need a computer to use your software?”
Tech Support: ?!%#$

5).Tech Support: “Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the ‘OK’ button displayed?”
Customer: “Wow. How can you see my screen from there?”

6) Tech Support: “What type of computer do you have?”
Customer: “A white one.”

7). Tech Support: “Type ‘A:’ at the prompt.”
Customer: “How do you spell that?”

8). Tech Support: “What’s on your screen right now?”
Customer: “A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store.”

9). Tech Support: “What operating system are you running?”
Customer: “Pentium.”

10). Customer: “My computer’s telling me I performed an illegal abortion.”

11).Customer: “I have Microsoft Exploder.”

12).Customer: “How do I print my voicemail?”

13). Customer: “You’ve got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won’t boot properly.”
Tech Support: “What does it say?”
Customer: “Something about an error and non-system disk.”
Tech Support: “Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?”
Customer: “No, but there’s a sticker saying there’s an Intel inside.”

14). Tech Support: “Just call us back if there’s a problem. We’re open 24 hours.”
Customer: “Is that Eastern time?”

15). Tech Support: “What does the screen say now?”
Customer: “It says, ‘Hit ENTER when ready’.”
Tech Support: “Well?”
Customer: “How do I know when it’s ready?”

16). A plain computer illeterate guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.

Tech: What’s the problem?
User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
Tech: You’ll need a new power supply.
User: No, I don’t! I just need to change the startup files.
Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You’ll need to replace it.
User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.

10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.

Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don’t normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.
User: I knew it!
Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Letme know how it goes.

10 minutes later.

User: It didn’t work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User: MS-DOS 6.22.
Tech: That’s your problem there. That version of DOS didn’t come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes.

1 hour later.

User: I need a new power supply.
Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?
User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of power supply.
Tech: Then what did he say?
User: He told me that my power supply isn’t compatible with NOSMOKE.

107 Responses

  1. matt gorden says:

    Thank you for blogging this, it was quite helpful and told a ton

  2. Throughout the great scheme of things you’ll receive an A+ just for effort. Where you actually confused us ended up being on the particulars. You know, it is said, the devil is in the details… And that could not be more accurate in this article. Having said that, permit me reveal to you just what exactly did deliver the results. Your writing is certainly really persuasive and this is most likely why I am making the effort to comment. I do not really make it a regular habit of doing that. 2nd, despite the fact that I can easily notice a leaps in reason you come up with, I am not confident of exactly how you appear to unite the details which inturn make your final result. For right now I will, no doubt subscribe to your position but wish in the near future you actually connect your dots better.

  3. Super-Duper website! I am loving it!! Will come back again. I am taking your feeds also.

  4. Loida Easler says:

    hehe cool ! I really like this site :)

  5. Hey there! This post couldn’t be written any better! Reading this post reminds me of my previous room mate! He always kept talking about this. I will forward this page to him. Fairly certain he will have a good read. Many thanks for sharing!

  6. I often read your blog, if you can, do post new stuff more often :D

  7. Thanks for a marvelous posting! I certainly enjoyed reading it, you might be a great author.I will make certain to bookmark your blog and will eventually come back very soon. I want to encourage you to continue your great work, have a nice afternoon!

  8. Hmm it seems like your website ate my first comment (it was super long) so I guess I’ll just sum it up what I wrote and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog. I too am an aspiring blog writer but I’m still new to everything. Do you have any points for rookie blog writers? I’d really appreciate it.

  9. Joa says:

    Wow, wonderful blog layout! How long have you been blogging for? you made blogging look easy. The overall look of your web site is magnificent, let alone the content!

  10. I sometimes read your blog, if you can, try post new stuff more frequently :D

  11. Please tell me that youre going to keep this up! Its so great and so important. I cant wait to read far more from you. I just really feel like you know so very much and know how to make people listen to what you have to say. This blog is just also cool to become missed. Great things, really. Please, PLEASE keep it up!

  12. I just want to tell you that I’m all new to blogs and seriously liked this page. Very likely I’m want to bookmark your blog post . You surely have fantastic articles and reviews. Bless you for revealing your web site.

  13. It’s a pity you don’t have a donate button! I’d most certainly donate to this superb blog! I suppose for now i’ll settle for bookmarking and adding your RSS feed to my Google account. I look forward to fresh updates and will talk about this blog with my Facebook group. Talk soon!

  14. It’s a shame you don’t have a donate button! I’d certainly donate to this brilliant blog! I suppose for now i’ll settle for bookmarking and adding your RSS feed to my Google account. I look forward to fresh updates and will share this website with my Facebook group. Chat soon!

  15. This is the right blog for anyone who wants to find out about this topic. You realize so much its almost hard to argue with you (not that I actually would want…HaHa). You definitely put a new spin on a topic thats been written about for years. Great stuff, just great!

  16. Float says:

    I don’t leave a response, but I browsed a lot of comments here Technical Support Humor – Vision Unlimited. I actually do have 2 questions for you if it’s okay. Is it only me or do some of these comments appear like they are coming from brain dead visitors? :-P And, if you are posting at other online sites, I’d like to keep up with everything fresh you have to post. Could you post a list of all of all your social community pages like your linkedin profile, Facebook page or twitter feed?

  17. Thomas says:

    Spot on with this write-up|if you werent too busy trying to find attention.

  18. I often read your blog, if you can, do publish new stuff more frequently :D

  19. Home says:

    I rarely write responses, however i did some searching and wound up here Technical Support Humor – Vision Unlimited. And I do have 2 questions for you if it’s allright. Could it be just me or does it look like some of the comments look as if they are written by brain dead visitors? :-P And, if you are writing on other sites, I’d like to keep up with everything fresh you have to post. Would you make a list of all of your social sites like your twitter feed, Facebook page or linkedin profile?

  20. IBS says:

    An interesting discussion is worth remark. I do believe that you can write more on this matter, it might not be a taboo subject but generally people are insufficient to speak on such issues. To the next. Cheers

  21. I enjoy this website, will certainly arrive back. Please continue writing good quality articles.

  22. Hi there I am so grateful I found your blog page, I really found you by error, while I was searching on Digg for something else, Nonetheless I am here now and would just like to say kudos for a marvelous post and a all round enjoyable blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to read it all at the moment but I have saved it and also added your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read much more, Please do keep up the superb job.

  23. Greetings from Florida! I’m bored to tears at work so I decided to browse your site on my iphone during lunch break. I love the knowledge you present here and can’t wait to take a look when I get home. I’m surprised at how quick your blog loaded on my cell phone .. I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyhow, awesome blog!

  24. IBS says:

    very nice article, i certainly love this site, carry on it

  25. Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though you relied on the video to make your point. You obviously know what youre talking about, why throw away your intelligence on just posting videos to your weblog when you could be giving us something informative to read?

  26. Shona Bippus says:

    You understand a lot its nearly arduous to argue with you (not that I really would need…HaHa).

  27. Buck Oheron says:

    Many thanks for an unbelievable publish, will study your particular others posts. i appreciate your ideas with this, I felt a lttle bit thump by this post. Thanks again again! You wanna make a terrific point. Displays the beauty through wonderful report here. I believe if more individuals thought about it doing this, they’d have a very better time receive the hang ofing the situation.

  28. mm it appears like your site ate my first comment (it was super long) so I guess I’ll just sum it up what I submitted and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog. I too am an aspiring blog blogger but I’m still new to everything. Do you have any helpful hints for inexperienced blog writers? I’d definitely appreciate it.

  29. Can I just say what a relief to find someone who actually knows what they are talking about on the internet. You definitely know how to bring an issue to light and make it important. More people need to read this and understand this side of the story. I cant believe youre not more popular because you definitely have the gift.

  30. This design is steller! You definitely know how to keep a reader amused. Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start my own blog (well, almost…HaHa!) Fantastic job. I really enjoyed what you had to say, and more than that, how you presented it. Too cool!

  31. Hey! This is my 1st comment here so I just wanted to give a quick shout out and tell you I genuinely enjoy reading through your blog posts. Can you suggest any other blogs/websites/forums that deal with the same subjects? Many thanks!

  32. That is the precise weblog for anybody who desires to seek out out about this topic. You realize so much its nearly hard to argue with you (not that I really would want’HaHa). You definitely put a new spin on a subject thats been written about for years. Nice stuff, just great!

  33. some really superb content on this internet site , thankyou for contribution.

  34. Amazing! This blog looks just like my old one! It’s on a entirely different topic but it has pretty much the same page layout and design. Outstanding choice of colors!

  35. Greetings! I’ve been following your weblog for a long time now and finally got the courage to go ahead and give you a shout out from Atascocita Texas! Just wanted to say keep up the excellent job!

  36. This design is spectacular! You definitely know how to keep a reader amused. Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start my own blog (well, almost…HaHa!) Great job. I really loved what you had to say, and more than that, how you presented it. Too cool!

  37. I’m really enjoying the design and layout of your site. It’s a very easy on the eyes which makes it much more enjoyable for me to come here and visit more often. Did you hire out a developer to create your theme? Superb work!

  38. Healthy Eye says:

    I figured that the more I surf the internet, the more intelligent I get. You might wish to include that to your post

  39. Thanks for an amazing submit, will study one’s others content. thanks for your thoughts with this, I soon became a trifle made an impact to by this post. Thanks again! You wanna make a great point. Portrays natures best by the excellent data here. I believe that in case a greater number of people considered it like that, they’d have a very better time period obtain the suspend ofing the situation.

  40. Wow that was unusual. I just wrote an very long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t show up. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyway, just wanted to say great blog!

  41. hey buddy, this can be a incredibly fascinating article

  42. very good post, i certainly love this web site, carry on it

  43. Beatiful blog! Where did you get that layout?

  44. Hmm it looks like your website ate my first comment (it was extremely long) so I guess I’ll just sum it up what I wrote and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog. I too am an aspiring blog writer but I’m still new to everything. Do you have any suggestions for inexperienced blog writers? I’d genuinely appreciate it.

  45. I went over this internet site and I conceive you have a lot of excellent information, saved to fav (:.

  46. It’s hard to find knowledgeable people on this topic, but you sound like you know what you’re talking about! Thanks

  47. I used to be very pleased to find this internet-site.I wished to thanks for your time for this glorious learn!! I undoubtedly having fun with every little bit of it and I’ve you bookmarked to check out new stuff you weblog post.

  48. Learn More…

    [...]I could not refrain from commenting. Exceptionally well written![...]…

  49. Nice work. Keep it comin’… :-)

Leave a Reply

What is 4 + 12 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)